Healthy boundaries are crucial to a happy relationship. They help us feel safe and maintain our sense of self.
They also help prevent toxic relationships from forming in the first place.
Boundaries can be physical, emotional or mental. The key to successful boundary-setting is communication. This can be hard, especially when emotions are running high.
Set Physical Boundaries
Physical boundaries help keep us comfortable and safe—particularly when interacting with those closest to us. Often, these boundaries include limiting overt PDA at social gatherings, asking before hugging, and avoiding someone who is a source of anxiety or stress. But, they can also include putting limits on things like who gets access to your phone or belongings, and who can use them and how.
These kinds of boundaries are incredibly important because they can prevent people from being used and abused by those around them, including their romantic partners. If you’re struggling with the ability to set these types of boundaries, it may be helpful to seek support and guidance from a mental health professional.
The Feminine Woman shares with us that when you’re able to set and communicate these boundaries, it helps both you and your partner understand where the line is. That clarity allows you to make sure you’re respecting each other’s needs and that your relationship is as happy and healthy as it can be.
While it might be difficult, it’s essential to remember that boundaries can change over time. If you and your partner regularly discuss what’s working and what isn’t, you can reassess and adapt the boundaries as needed.
Setting and maintaining good physical boundaries isn’t easy for everyone, especially if you’re dealing with a clingy or possessive partner. But the key is to remember that you deserve these boundaries just as much as they do. If you’re having a hard time getting your partner to respect these boundaries, it might be helpful to seek support and guidance from therapists or mental health coaches who can work with you to help you establish and maintain healthy boundaries.
Boundaries are a vital part of any healthy relationship—whether you’re romantically involved or not. They’re invisible lines that protect you emotionally, intellectually, and physically. In addition to protecting you from harmful situations, they also help you define what kind of person you want to be.
Set Emotional Boundaries
A healthy relationship requires both partners to respect and honor one another’s emotional boundaries. This includes allowing each other to grieve in their own way, expressing anger without blame, and not taking on the other person’s stress and anxiety.
Emotional boundaries are often based on personal needs, such as how close you feel comfortable to your significant other and your comfort level with physical touch. These types of boundaries can also include your limits around public displays of affection, such as hand holding or kissing in front of others.
These types of boundaries are crucial to the overall health of a relationship and can be difficult to establish, especially early on in the relationship when habits and routines haven’t been set. However, it is always better to bring up these issues when they are a concern than to wait until the issue becomes a major problem and strains your relationship.
The first step in setting these kinds of boundaries is to practice self-awareness and reflect on your personal needs. This allows you to clearly communicate them to your partner in an empathetic and respectful manner.
It’s important to state clear consequences that you are willing and able to enforce when someone crosses a boundary. Otherwise, it can send the message that your boundary is not important or not worth upholding. For example, if you tell your significant other that you will take time away from the relationship if they continue to lie to you, it is imperative that you follow through with this consequence.
Intellectual boundaries protect each partner’s thoughts and opinions. They may be as simple as agreeing to disagree, or they can include ensuring that each partner has space for their own hobbies and friends.
Ultimately, intellectual and emotional boundaries are not only critical for healthy relationships but also necessary for our well-being. If you find yourself struggling to identify or communicate these boundaries, consider bringing up the topic with a trusted friend or counselor who can provide guidance and support. Ultimately, establishing these boundaries will help you feel more empowered and confident in your relationship.
Set Mental Boundaries
Mental boundaries are a healthy way to respect your personal ideas, beliefs, and thoughts. You can’t expect everyone in your life to agree with you all the time, but when someone begins to dismiss, belittle, or minimize your thoughts or feelings, it may be a sign that they are violating your mental boundaries.
Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries can be difficult, especially when you are surrounded by people who tend to take advantage of others. The most effective way to set and maintain these types of boundaries is to focus on self-awareness. This will help you understand what needs to be changed and how to communicate those changes effectively.
You must also consider the consequences of any boundary violations and how to handle them. For example, if your partner consistently crosses a physical boundary, you might decide to avoid physical touch in public or ask them to shake hands instead of hugs when greeting friends and colleagues. If your partner continues to violate your mental or emotional boundaries, you might decide that it is necessary to seek the help of a professional counselor.
Ultimately, the goal of setting and maintaining healthy boundaries in your relationship is to allow yourself to thrive. Boundaries can help you feel more in control of your life and prevent unhealthy situations from arising. Practicing self-care and ensuring that you prioritize your own interests can strengthen your relationships with others. If you are struggling to set and maintain healthy boundaries, a therapist or counselor can provide guidance, support, and practical strategies to help you manage these challenges.
It is also important to remember that it takes time and effort to establish a new habit. If you have been ignoring your own boundaries for a long period of time, it may take some time before you begin to notice that the behavior is causing you discomfort. Be patient and practice your boundary-setting skills as often as possible. You may find that the more you practice, the easier it will become. Also, it is important to keep in mind that a person who has been taking advantage of you may not take your attempt to establish boundaries well.
Set Social Boundaries
In relationships, healthy boundaries set how often you call or text one another and when you spend time together. They might also establish expectations around sexual activity. These relationship boundaries can change over time, so it’s important to communicate them regularly and address any changes as needed.
It’s also helpful to have social boundaries in place to protect your mental health. For example, if someone invades your personal space in line at the grocery store or in public, you can politely ask them to step back. Or if your partner has a habit of bringing up past mistakes in conversation, you can let them know that it makes you feel anxious and ask them to stop.
You should never feel guilty for putting your own needs first in your relationship. In fact, healthy boundaries should make you feel empowered and confident in your ability to express yourself. Practicing your communication skills will help you be able to share your feelings and needs in an open, honest way. You might even consider reading up on soft shutdowns so that you can better handle conflict and arguements with your significant other.
People who don’t have healthy boundaries usually fall into two categories: those who take on too much responsibility for others’ actions and emotions, and those who blame other people for their own actions/emotions. Both of these are toxic behaviors that will negatively impact your relationship.
To identify your boundaries, it’s necessary to reflect on your values and needs in different areas of your life. This will give you a clear picture of what your boundaries should look like and allow you to clearly communicate them.
The best part about setting and communicating boundaries is that you’re taking control of your well-being, which can only improve your overall happiness. If you’re struggling with the process of setting and enforcing healthy boundaries in your relationship, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. BetterUp can provide the guidance you need to begin practicing habits that prioritize your comfort and independence.